MY ANXIETY & HOW BLOGGING HELPS OVERCOME IT
Some of you may know me as the girl with the obnoxious blog name who likes makeup and other pretty things. What most of you don’t know is that I went through a traumatic experience and i had a really difficult time coping with it. I wont go into its details, but because of that (plus some medical issues in my body), there came a time where i was clinically depressed and severely anxious.
It went on for a very long time and it got to a point where i developed fear of social situations. I was terrified at the big bad “what if?” that could come with it. I didn’t want to be in photos, on social media, or out in the mall because people who know me might see how much of an “abnormal” and ugly person i thought i was, and strangers might pull a Sherlock deduction move on me, dissect every one of my flaws, and then say hurtful things.
So for years I spent most of my life hiding in my bedroom (literally and with no exaggeration) where I felt safe. My main social interactions went from having many friends, down to talking to a handful of people i trust, my doctors, my therapist, and my little Yorkie Bentley. One of the few outlets that I had left was watching YouTube videos and reading blogs. This is when things started to change. I wanted to be like these beautiful and confident women who aren’t afraid to speak up publicly and be judged. So I created a blog and battled with my social anxiety one blog post at a time.
If you ever struggle with depression, anxiety, or anything related to what I went through, i wrote this story for you. To send a message that you are not alone (I know how these things can easily make one feel lonely and misunderstood) and to share how I gradually stepped out of my box of anxiety and negativity. Hopefully this could encourage you to move forward with me.
ONE STEP AT A TIME
I broke down my goals into tiny little steps cos it seemed too big for me at the time. Mundane things like posting a selfie felt like someone just asked me to climb Mount Everest. So instead, I went ahead and posted photos of things i love (lipsticks, and blushes). When I noticed that nothing really bad happened after that, or if something did that I could take it on anyway, I gradually progressed and shared photos of my hands (#notd), my face, half of my body, and so on. I also started making SnapChat videos cos my next goal someday is to make YouTube videos.
I was also scared to speak up and had zero social skills. So i started writing my opinion on little things like makeup on the blog. It felt like i was talking to nobody but its what i needed at first since I was too conscious of other people’s judgements. I eventually found the courage to have mini comment interactions with my fellow bloggers on BlogSpot, and became very good friends with some of them. I felt like i had a circle of friends online who i felt safe with, so i created more social media (Instagram and Twitter) accounts to join them and started meeting more people.
Then later on more opportunities came for my blog, and i got invited to attend events and do collaborations. This was especially hard for me cos i was still afraid to talk to anybody in person (especially to strangers), much more step into a room with an intimidating crowd. I had to turn down a few of the invites and felt depressed once again. I eventually pushed myself to just go even though people might think i’m too awkward. I remember having to take lots of bathroom breaks to calm myself down when I attended my first events, and when I had a photoshoot with Maybelline for a campaign. I know it may sound petty to some but coming from a severely depressed girl who isolated herself from the world for years, to me this is a such an accomplishment.
My depression and anxieties still come back and discourage me every once in awhile. When this happens I try to look back and remind myself of my growth since i took those little steps. It encourages me to keep moving forward. I hope this will encourage you to do the same :)
To my beloved pet and bestfriend Bentley.
The little dog who changed my life.
MAKE CONFIDENCE HAPPEN
I originally wrote this blog post cos I understand how insecurities and anxieties can take a hold of someones life, and I was hoping my story could help at least one person going through the same thing.
A few days after I published it, I was told about Maybelline and Liza Soberano’s new campaign as a part of the relaunch of Maybelline’s Clear Smooth All-in-One to empower women to conquer their insecurities and #MakeConfidenceHappen. I’m proud and very happy to join a campaign very close to my heart with this story.
You guys, your inner beauty can and will take you to places, let it shine through. Conquer your insecurities one step at a time, and be the best, most confident person you can be. Make your life a story worth telling.
My blog is in a way a story of how i overcome the negative things in my life and how people like you helped with it. To celebrate that and to in a way say thanks, here’s a giveaway open to everyone (international). It’ll run until October 30, 2016. I’ll contact and announce the winner after that. Thanks and good luck! :)
I couldn’t be more happy for what you’ve accomplished, Shayne. I’m so glad you gave yourself a chance to live your life again. I know that you’re not 100% over it because you said you that your anxiety and depression still comes back sometimes, but I know you will eventually. Just continue looking at lovely things that you’ve done to continue building yourself once more. Never give up:)
And I would just like to thank you for this inspiring message, this will help a lot of people especially those who are in the same condition as you were. Thanks for the trust that you’ve given to your readers for sharing such a very personal entry. We love you :) xx
aw thanks ericka and so sorry for replying late. when i read your comment i wanted to take time talaga in front of my laptop to reply, but i never found a quiet time until today. i really appreciate your words, you’re such an encouraging person and a great listener – dont ever change! :)
Thank you for sharing and inspiring some of us. You’re always loved by many people around you, always know that. Thankyou for this giveaway. May God always bless you and protect you. May you continue to do what you love and keep on sharing, inspiring us of what you’ve done. Don’t let fear take you down. We always got your back! Keep on shinin’ beautiful! Godbless! :)
thank you rechelle <3 i really appreciate your encouraging words. God bless your kind heart!
You will get through it in time, Shayne. Pagsubok lang yan and for sure malalampasan mo yan.
Let me share to you one of my favorite saying, How will you ever be polished if you are irritated by every rub. Just look at the bright side in every situation. Hope you’ll get better every day. God bless
hello siss! i like that parang ung songs na even diamonds started out as coals <3 ily! God bless!
At the end life is all about how you conquer all the negativity and continue to live positivity. Some things take time,in the most unexpected way.
very well said, thanks elezabeth <3
May mga reason si God kung bakit tayo dumadaan sa trials ng ating buhay… pero balang araw ito ang magpapatibay sa atin kasama na rito ang faith natin kay God. Goodluck to your blogs and more power. God bless ms. shayne.
thank you sis! i agree there is a reason for everything we just need to turn to God and look for it <3
It was very brave what you did getting over your fears and insecurities. Sometimes believing in yourself is all it really takes! I know depression is difficult to deal with, I’ve been there. You’re truly an inspiration. You deserve nothing buy happiness. :)
thanks nikaia i really appreciate your kind words! and thanks also for relating with me, its nice to meet strong girls who understands how difficult depression is <3
I am so proud of you, Shane! I totally understand the anxieties and how blogging can really help with that. I’m so glad that you did share a bit of yourself on your blog because otherwise, how would I have gotten to know an awesome blogger as yourself? Keep blogging and being an inspiration! :]
aw thank you deb! you are one of the first girls i became friends here and helped me and inspired me to push forward :) ily! <3
All of your hard works and problems in past po nagbunga na po madam! Look at you now! You’re so gorgeous, marami na po nakaka-kilala po sainyo and marami po kayong naiinspired na mga kababaihan, isa na po ako dun. Just keep up the good work and never forget God. God Bless!
thank you for your kind words sis <3 id be very happy if this post could help kahit one girl lang. so thank you thank you for your comment :)
you’re so gorgeous madam! thanks for noticing me!!! kinikilig po ako :D
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Anxiety can feel horrible. You have accomplished so much, Shayne! I would love to watch your videos some day!
hi lupe!! so sorry for my MIA here. also wanna say thanks cos you were one of the first girls who i became friends here and made me feel safe to just keep sharing my thoughts online. couldn’t have done it with out you <3
Wow, what a journey! I’m very proud of you <3
thank you natasja, not just for this kind comment but for being my friend here since the begining <3
Anytime :) x
You’d be great at Youtube, Shayne :’) I’d watch those crafting tutorials, dude. MARTHA STEWART WATCH OUT. But for’real, you’re freaking gorgeous (inside + out) so anyone critiquing your flaws has me to deal with (jk, I have no body strength to save my life, but IT’S OK, MY DOG MITTY WILL BEAT PPL UP 4 U)
I’m proud of the progress you’ve made for your health + your blog over the years,Shayne :’). But yeah, before blogging, I was definitely very self conscious of the way I looked too, and as I gradually added selfies on there, and with encouragement from you + other blogger friends, my self confidence grew.
I miss that tiny yorkie buddy :(
VVVVV you still read my blog! ilysm! your comment seriously made my day when i read it. you’re one of the longest friends i have here in the blogging community who really helped me and inspired me to keep blogging and to move forward -i cant thank you enough for that <3 plus your writing and photography skills were always #GOALS to me! And yas i remember when you first post photos of you wearing red lipsticks and in one of the pics you wore the one i sent – i felt honored lol!
LOL at the mitty bit! Please post more snaps of her. i can now manage looking at other cute dogs without falling apart over missing Bentley.
BRUH, GOTTA CHECK IN AND SEE WHAT EVERYONE’S UP TO FROM TIME TO TIME. But I know–our blogs have kinda just, ~grown up together~, ya know?
Will def post more snaps of Mitty! You can never have too many dog snaps anyways
thanks for joining also! good luck <3
aw sisss na teary eyed naman ako sa comment mo <3 (and buti nalang i saw it on my disquss page. for some reason wala ung comments mo for weeks). thanks for sharing your side of the story. i didnt know a girl like you na confident, masayahin and super friendly could go be going through something like this. and for that youre also an inspiration to all. youre also one of the girls who made me feel comfortable and heard to keep writing about my thoughts and seriously could not have move forward with out your support. ILYSM <3
Hi sis! aw thank you for your kind words. minsan kalang magcomment pero pag nag comment ka pala super heartfelt <3 thank you thank you
Aww Shayne I love this post! I feel like as bloggers we talk so much about fashion and beauty and other things that we leave the personal stuff out. I have anxiety so I definitely know how you feel. I understand how hard it can be to meet new people and not be nervous. When I first got to college I just felt so alone all the time because it was so hard to meet new people and I would get so shy. I think it takes a lot of work but we can overcome it!
I’m so happy to hear about how much more confident blogging has made you, and rightly so! You’re absolutely gorgeous and a super talented blogger and deserve all your success!! :)
Francesca <3 thanks for sharing your story i really didnt know or wouldve guessed that you were struggling with anxiet. I have so much more respect and love for you <3 you've always been one of the bloggers i look up to so thank you thank you for the kind words. it means a lot!!
Hi ate Shayne! I just recently discovered your blog, and I’m so surprised that you suffered from anxiety. You look so confident in your photos! I had my fair share of anxiety attacks because of school, which was also the reason why I stopped blogging for a while. It’s truly challenging to overcome it, but I’m so happy that you did! – I hope I will overcome mine soon too :) I just finished my school – well, 3 days left – and then off to the big graduation march in February! Hopefully, this will significantly reduce the anxiety in my life. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that I am not alone in this. I’m looking forward to reading more blog posts of yours! PS I found your blog just a week ago when I was searching for reviews of Sooperbeaute products! Your review was so helpful. I can’t wait to read more! So glad I discovered your blog!! <3 Love lotsss XOXO
Nice to meet you elle! Thanks for taking time to share your story, it also made me feel like im less alone :) i can tell from the way you replied, that your positive outlook will move you forward. It’s just a matter of time and determination to move forward <3